Messy in the Middle- Episode 10: Haley in the Hot Seat
In today’s episode, we are throwing a curveball at you! Today, I’m interviewed by my good friend and a fan favorite guest, Kira La Forgia from Paradigm Consulting. Today’s episode marks the finale of season 1 of the Messy in the Middle Podcast, so we decided to do things differently. So, today I am the one who is answering some (really great!) questions. We cover a whole range of topics, both business and personal. We go from playing a round of “Would You Rather” to talking about some of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned on my entrepreneurial journey so far!
Let’s start with some “Would You Rather!”
K: Would you rather have everything you say or do be recorded and podcasted or have everything you say and do recorded and streamed live for people- but there’s no recording later?
H: The 1st one? Can I use it for marketing? I think I’d rather go back and have access to it. Then I can look back at bits and pieces for my own memory or for marketing- I’d want to have access to it.
K: Would you rather be 8 feet tall or 4 feet tall?
H: See, I’m 5’3’’. I’m short enough that it’s annoying but I’m not short enough that it’s cute. If I was 4 feet tall I’d be cute and tiny and could climb on stuff. I’m already used to being short, so only being 4 feet tall would just amplify that.
K: Not a “would you rather,” but what’s your favorite TV show?
H: Big Brother. It’s just an immersive world with a community and I feel like you can give it your all and you aren’t going to be mad at writers for doing it badly. It’s real and fake at the same time in a fun, interactive way. Kira is actually in a group chat with my parents and I about Celebrity Big Brother.
K: Let it be known, I won and no one congratulated me…
K: Would you rather have telekinesis or telepathy?
H: I am somewhat of an amature detective. I would want to read minds, but I don’t know if I have enough respect for other people’s boundaries to do that responsibly. But if I could move stuff with my mind without getting up that would make me lazy. But I guess if I’m 4 feet tall I could move stuff and that’d be helpful.
K: Would you rather be in jail for 5 years or in a coma for a decade?
H: Will I come out of the coma? Is it jail or prison? Did I do something bad?
K: Yes, you’d definitely come out of the coma. I guess prison? Like a sucky prison, you only get one hour a day outside. And obviously you did something bad if you’re in prison.
H: I guess I’d say coma very hesitantly. There are too many cans of worms to open on the jail option.
The Breakdown
K: Ok, moving on from Would You Rather and heading into some more questions about how you started your business! Why did you decide to start your business five years ago?
H: I couldn’t find a job! I had changed my major a million times, got a degree in sociology, but while other people were doing internships, I was busy changing my major. I did a lot of creative work- I taught jewelry classes and a Michael’s (that was the first time I had made and cultivated an email list), taught jewelry design at a summer camp, was a creative intern for a furniture company. So, despite my sociology, all my work experience was all creative and I started doing a lot of creative freelance work. I had like 5 part time jobs, it was a running joke. I liked the freedom of knowing if things went south in one position I could leave and find something else. I kind of started my own business by accident and that’s not the journey I had planned.
K: How much did life change when the pandemic started?
H: It didn’t really change at all, if anything it got better (which is a hard thing to say as I recognize the pandemic was such a tragic event for so many). After the initial freak out of things, I had more time to focus on my business and what I wanted in life. I was in grad school at the time, so I thought when I finished I’d just get a job. But I really had June-December of that year to focus on my business and I started to feel like it wasn’t just me trying to make things work until I could find a “real” job.
K: What’s your favorite/least favorite part about the online business community?
H: I love how much mobility everyone has- it gives anyone with internet access the opportunity to try something without it being a huge declarative “now I’m an expert…” You can have a full time job and do an online business on the side- it’s all so moldable and changeable to make it work on your own timeline.
I don’t love the sense of entitlement a lot of “big people” in the online space have. It’s like “I’ve been successful in the past so I deserve to be successful in the future.” When that doesn’t work out, there’s this victim mindset they take on instead of changing to match the industry. I see a lot of client experiences suffering because people just use the testimonials they have from when they were actually good at doing what they did. There’s not enough self reflection on if people are still engaging in behaviors that merit the rewards they once had.
K: So, I know the story of how you started working with your business coach and I also know you’re taking a break right now from working with a coach. What did you learn from having a coach?
H: It was nice to have a place/community to go to to get answers that are rooted in kindness and care. I wanted a coach because I needed a place to bounce ideas off of people that was different from some hostile Facebook groups out there. I wanted a place to have a dialogue and ask questions without feeling stupid or having people throw in their opinions for the sake of just saying something. After a year and a half I had figured out how to answer the questions myself. I didn’t necessarily outgrow the coaching container, but I learned. I figured out how to come to a solution in a way that worked for me, and by the end I felt like I was asking questions just so I’d get my money’s worth.
K: Talk a little more about not having a coach right now.
H: I reached a point where I felt complete and I didn’t feel ready for a higher level coaching container- which is really why I started this podcast! There are a lot of resources out there for people just starting out and for people at a higher level in a full-time CEO position but there’s not a lot of room for the people in the middle who don’t have as many questions and are still doing the “doing.” I feel like we try to rush people through the middle. A CEO role isn’t for everyone, and that conversation is being missed. Some people still like to hustle to get results and I couldn’t find a space that supported that before.
K: What did you learn about yourself as a leader through the evolution of your business as a team leader?
H: When I first brought on an employee, I had no clue what it meant to be a leader. I felt like I had no business being someone’s boss at 24 when my employee was older- it felt weird being the “expert” in the conversation and I think I let myself be walked on. I learned that not only do I need to embody what it means to be a leader (and I also deserve to do that), but you also have to actually want to be a leader and have an impact.
K: Looking back on the biggest lessons since starting a business- if you had to take the last 6 months and put them in a vacuum, what is the most impactful thing you learned about yourself and an entrepreneur and in business?
H: About myself? I am more capable than I give myself credit for and that is someone I struggle with as someone who wants to be critical of people who consider themselves “too capable.” I wouldn’t have said that this time last year, but it applies to me as myself and as a business owner. I’m learning to create more of a place for internal validation rather than the external, but also be accepting of the external validation.
As a business owner- when I decided to have employees, I took on a lot of responsibility for them and wanted to create a company that could support them. At the beginning, I was more committed in supporting that for them than doing anything for me. Now, I have to remember I’m on my team too.
K: Where do you see yourself in five years?
H: I’m like the bug eye emoji. I think we’re on the brink of something really cool with Propegy, and it starts with talking about and educating on more than just LinkedIn. I was under the impression my approach was my “secret sauce,” but based on feedback from newer clients- yes, it’s a cool approach and I’m proud of that. But the approach can be applied to a lot of other areas of business. I want to help others figure out how to make business feel good and not like something we are shy about. You can create genuine connections and quality content without it taking up your entire life. I want to be able to serve people at an accessible level. I love to help people make a difference and that’s how I make a difference.
I have no idea what my life will look like in five years. When I was in college and in a sorority (bet you didn’t know that) they made us write a letter to ourselves at graduation, and I hated coming back and reading a list of things that didn’t happen. I don’t want to listen to this podcast in five years and be sad. So, thinking more about the vibes in five years, there are good vibes but no specifics!
A huge thank you to Kira for being part of this episode, all my guests from season 1, and all of YOU for tuning in or reading along! Stay tuned for updates soon on season 2 of Messy in the Middle!
